HOLY MOLY, it's been exactly 5 months to this day since I've written a blog!! A lot has gone on in that time frame but something that takes the cake, I want to talk about.

Rewind time back to about 3 months ago and my life was an anxious/stressful time for about a solid week or so at work. In all honestly though that uncomfortable week turned out to be the best thing ever because I gained a cool human being in my life and learned so much about myself. I also realized how to fully accept when I am in the wrong or need to back off which rarely happens in life because people have 80 different excuses instead of fully taking responsibility for their actions. Trust me, I have been there and was one of you! I can't even tell you how much growth is to be had when you get yourself into situations that you are not use to, change my friends is good, you just have to be open to it.

Now I will tell you for damn sure I RESISTED that change, I FOUGHT back until finally I took a look at myself, the way I was making myself feel about a situation that could be sat down and talked about. I tell people time and time again to dig deep and dive into yourself because that's when you really get to know yourself and are able to fully get yourself out of pulling back, resistance, and internally and externally fighting about something that can be solved quite easily, hypothetically. We get so engulfed in rage and keep thinking about the problem instead of working to solve it. I was there, it was like a wall that I couldn't break down, that's how much resistance we have in ourselves and lives, and these moments only help to break them down, if we allow them too. The more we refuse things that are super difficult and uncomfortable the harder it will be to conquer them in the future, so the more we dig so damn deep, the easier it becomes to deal with difficult situations or people. Remember everyone is different, we are not here to change anyone but you may be able to influence someone, who knows but you won't know if you keep yourself guarded and resistant to change. I'm not saying to accept every damn thing but be open to possibilities, honestly LISTEN because we all know how bad our society is at that, we are always thinking of what to say next. That person could be right but we are so stubborn that we don't think we are ever wrong. Definitely stand up for yourself but also step back and be open because you just never know what may come out of it.

Okay so back to my stressful week, I will fully admit I judged, I disliked this person because I was not use to someone coming in and switching things around, starting new ideas and rules of how things should be done, and most importantly I had it in my head that I wasn't going to get my vacation approved. Now my first mistake was having that in my mind when it wasn't officially said, so basically I was overthinking and everything just rumbled and tumbled after that. The mind is a powerful thing and can take over until you fight it back!! As well as the situation before this person came was shitty so I put all that on this person as well which is so not fair!! At the time, none of this crossed my mind because I was so wrapped up in all the nonsense in my head, it wasn't until I sat down to have a open conversation where we both expressed our issues and feelings. Man if only I did this in the beginning things would of been so different BUT I'm glad this is how it panned out because throughout this grueling process I came out a better person, I officially started accepting the wrongs I did in the whole process! & if this didn't happen maybe things wouldn't be where they are today.

After having our deep open communication, things started to bloom and the feelings of stress and rage dissipated. I truly believe uncomfortable things happen in life to make us stronger, grow and bring so much good into our life. In these last 3 months I have learned a hell of a lot about myself, about working through problems with other people and having better energy surrounding me and learned computer stuff I had no idea how to do. I also gained another rad human in my life and forever grateful and thankful that we crossed paths. I honestly just love meeting new people and developing a bond/connection because those are what matters in life, you won't be taking your expensive car, loads of money or material things with you to your grave. It's the little things, the memories, the laughs, the growth, learning new things, opening up and sharing yourself with others. People always say well I have been hurt this many times so I am very cautious or hold back, I say have some boundaries but don't be closed off because you honestly just never know. I've been hurt so many damn times but my heart gets bigger every time, the world needs more hearts and open ones at that.

Every uncomfortable situation I have been in since I dug into myself about self-realization and got uncomfortable with myself, those situations have turned out amazing. No word of a lie, of course dealing with them is a hell show but trust me keep fighting and digging and you will come out brighter. Always strive to be a better you!! God, I love life, the good, the horrible, the struggle, the amazing, it all has impact to becoming who you truly are.

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