When things hit the fan, we either let it take us over or we make lot's of realizations from it. I use to be the first half and let everything get to me, take over my mind and make my decision making ludicrous, like a monster deep down inside waking up for all the wrong reasons. Yeah, you have had this too, don't kid yourself. It's the easiest way to be, because in the long run we can blame things, people and times for our reactions. Seems to be this never ending cycle of roller coaster fuckery that keeps us looping back to the same old shit. I will change they say, in your wildest dreams because majority of us are stuck in our ways and lazy as fuck to actually put in the work, and I'm not talking about physical change. The mental change is the hardest park to overcome whatever issue we are experiencing because it takes a whole lot of power to fuck with the mind. It can be done, most of us never get to that point until something big or crazy happens, even then we may just be stuck because we give up.
Years and years I have been stuck in that zone hardcore, still to this day, even though I put in lot's of work my mind still wants to take me back. It's one hell of a fight, sometimes it takes me down for a second, but you should see the other guy. The amount of things I have learned, I will never resort back to that mentality till the day I die. Oooo, speaking of life, we all think we have lot's of years to live and do what we love that we post pone so many things, we let useless shit get to us and react to circumstances we can't ever control. I'm here writing this blog because yesterday I witnessed a chick get hit by a car by my place, I can't even begin to explain the feelings I immediately felt. && I didn't see the car physically hit her because a car was in front of me but while we were making our turn, I see this lady crouched on the ground in fetal position. I literally felt this emptiness, stomach dropping and tear filled feeling and it lasted quite a bit afterwards. We hear day in and day out of people getting hit by cars in the news/papers and so forth but to be there when it happened is a whole other level. I kind of brush it off when I just read about it which is pretty selfish but I'm sure we all do it. It will always be different when it hit's you right at home, in front of your own eyes. After this happened, all I could think about is this person driving was probably distracted, I'm going to go with a educated guess, a cell phone. I am a culprit when it comes to this because you just never think that it will ever happen to you, you have that luck with you, you are experienced, you can drive with you knees or whatever. NO, it's just not acceptable, it literally can take a split second and boom you just ruined someone else' life. I have taken a step back, making a conscious effort not to look at my phone while driving, we are so attached to our phones that it is literal WORK to not look at our phone even if there is no notifications.
LIFE is so mother effing priceless that majority of us take for granted, some don't even know how good they have it because they are always complaining about useless shit. Someone doesn't text you back till way later or not till the next day and you come up with some bullshit story that they don't love you or they are pissed off or they are doing this on purpose to piss you off..... LIKE WHOAH wait a minute what happened to having an actually life and not being attached to a dumbass phone and social media or whatever. Orrrr having issues with your significant other, we all make fabricated stories on he/she did this or he/she didn't do this because of this, like we can't be making up shit on how they are feeling yet we all do it ALLL the time. There is so many scenarios that I can mention in this blog of mine but I think you get the point. Maybe you need to figure your shit out and go from there because in the end you will never be able to change anyone else and you shouldn't even have that mind frame in your head. If you do for anyone in your life, then you don't really care for them because you should accept them as is and if you can't handle that, then time to move on. The focus on our bullshit stories we play in our mind is what fucks everything up because we believe it when the opposite is true. How about we actually ask the person instead of being stubborn/annoyed/pissed off of what we think they are feeling and why they are doing this, that sounds like a better idea. How many of us do it? Not to many because yet again we are waiting for the other person to step up or some shit. We go on with life like this for years and years, no wonder no one is actually happy anymore because all these stories we make up end up fucking with us.
Let me ask you a question. Do you want to live like this forever? & don't tell me you don't do anything of the above because I know you are full of shit. 2018 is around the corner, let's make it a year that we actually full throttle LIVE life without our bull shit stories. Remember too, if you are on the other side, so basically someone you know its acting some type of way(believing their story of whatever), that's a their problem and until they come to you or figure their shit out, you are in the dark. I love it too, being on the other side because they acting all pissy/closed off/silent treatment or something and I can't do anything for you until you let me know, simple as that. We can't read peoples minds and we are not going to get sucked into that story of yours, thats a sunken ship I do not want to be a part of. I think back to all the fabricated shit I have made up in my head because of some situation and I just shake my head! So many years of feeling like shit mentally because these dumbass stories that take over our lives, no more my friends. :)
Last but not least, if you want to make up a story, at least make it a good one or better yet actually live it out.
Beauty, why do we let people and materials change our beauty?
July 20, 2014
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Depression, Anxiety, Stress, the worst triple threat.