To be Wanted.
I've been reading a book called " The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker, it basically goes through intuitions about people who may have the potential of doing horrible things to you or others. In most cases there will always be warning signs that we should all pay attention too because it could save our life. I have yet to finish the book but this chapter and the one before got my attention so I decided to read a blog about it because it can really make a impact on someone, our society and people in our life.
I personally think everyone in life wants to feel wanted in life because it makes you feel some type of special. Some people have had some messed up horrible childhood lives that could potentially set them up with a mind frame that turns them into a person who does horrible acts. I want you to really think about the affect parents, older siblings, teachers and so forth have on a child. A child doesn't have all the lessons, intuition, knowledge and education as us adults, things said to them can really knock them down. Even as adults, when we hear something from someone we love, think highly of, it can really damage us. The words of " you are a failure", " without money, you are nothing", "You're the reason our marriage broke up", "you are a bad kid", being isolated as a child, abuse and neglect that even when adults try to let down a child nicely, it still can have a total opposite effect on a child. At this point children have been put down so much that, that's how they perceive them self, they are stuck in this and can't pull out.
When we approach a child about things that went wrong or they made a mistake, we should make more of a effort to make more of a positive constructive solution instead of bashing or putting down. It honestly takes a lot of effort and patience to be more mindful of what we are going to say, think about it and then relay the message. We all make mistakes and should learn how to get through them without having this bad connotation about us from that one mistake.
This brings me to the point of the little things, acts of kindness and just making someone feel loved and cared for. It honestly makes the world of a difference, especially for a child and even adults as well. We have no idea what someone else is battling on the inside or out, how their home life is, if they are struggling and just in a bad place. I can think of things in my childhood that just sparked something in me, that teacher who put in a little bit more effort and care to encourage you in school work, sports or whatever. The simple act could change the way a child or person thinks of them self and start changing his/her habits to become a better person. The kindness of a person to another is a act NEVER wasted, it can make all of the difference in that moment of time for the other. There is no special occasion or attachment when this child or person may see his own worth reflected by the eyes of an encouraging adult but more than not, it happens. He/she may not see them self as the face/act of violence or failure to their family because this one person expressed the love, specialness or value that they pose as a human being. This encouragement could be shown by the artistic/athletic ability the child shows, humor and courage, just about anything to develop a bond and increase their worthiness to do great things. These little things could bring the child or person back into a place where they once had that love, encouragement and value.
Day in and day out I will always go out of my way for family/friends/strangers to make them feel that type of special because i think that makes the world of a difference to a human. I've had it happen to me and the feeling is indescribable, the best ever. It honestly has that much power to switch a persons day around, their vibes and potentially their whole life. So if there is one thing you get out of this, is to be kind and think before you speak to someone. Anywhere, anytime if you have the ability to make someone else's day, please go out and do it. Make it something you strive for everyday of your life, the magic that happens, it's something special.