I honestly just read one of the best books of all time called " Tuesday's with Morrie", it's crazy to believe how much a book can touch you. Let alone the people in our lives that sometimes we seem to just throw on the back burner, sweep under the rug and so forth. Whether we realize it or not, it happens so often and it's really sad, in my opinion. What I'm about to write, I was never like this years ago except I have always been a giver BUT back in the day I was the wrong type of giver because I aways expected stuff in return. This always leads to an endless pit of high ups and lowest lows, the worst rollercoasters for happiness.
Growing up I've never had as much human touch, compassion and love as I do now. Don't get me wrong I was immensely loved through my childhood and so forth but most times we go through some crazy hard times, that may have changed things. I believe that happened to me, I've done some pretty horrible shit in the past that always lingered in the back of my head, like how could I do that to family... It wasn't till last summer I finally released it all and started a new journey of my life. A life that I wanted to give my heart and soul to people, strangers and anyone who came in contact with me, to share the love and happiness without any expectations. I left that back in the past even though sometimes it wants to creep back in but I refuse to let it steal my life, my love and my happiness.
I have had a lot of people come and go in my life that have taught me so many lessons in life, made me grow as an individual and added to who the person I am now. The good and the bad, I thank each and everyone of you. It wasnt until recently when I felt what kind of connections I want in my life and will forever flower them. The society we live in now, we have people and things that decide how we live our life, how we should be, and in the end it's not who we are and we are not living our life. We live a culture that is based on the society we live in, what we need to do is build our own culture. We get stuck on making the most money, being the most successful and having the shiniest most expensive material things. What we are missing is the compassion we can give to other humans, whether we know them or not. We forget to listen to the loved ones in our life, we are just thinking about what to say next to them. We miss the opportunity that a small chance of love and acts of kindness can impact another human being that we know and don't know. These are the things that make life living. It gives us this feeing that nothing else can compare, if you have experienced what I will share in the next paragraph, you know what this feeling is. The sad part is we can die any day, death is upon us and no type of fame, money or materials will ever save you from that, they won't even make the time you have on your death bed better. & some people are not even lucky to have time to say goodbye, to share the love and compassion with the people they love. We are all scared of death but ultimately we should be living each day like it was our last. Sharing moments and memories with people we love, making sure we tell them every damn time you can, that you love them, you appreciate them and be present with them. Give out all the love, laughs, happiness, smiles and human touch out to the world, we all need it, even as much as you think you don't. Who does't like the feeling of being close to someone in their life? In the words of Mitch Albom and Morrie, " Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone." This quote hit me deep in the heart and soul because this is exactly what I've been doing for the last year and will continue to do until my last breath. I ultimately want to leave every person I meet that they were listened too, that they felt the care, love and compassion in my eyes, that they felt my sincere happiness towards them and so much more that words could ever explain.
Onto the paragraph that if you got the chance to experience this kind of connection with someone in your life, you are living your life. I'm a big believer that people are brought into your life at times when it just brightens you up, makes you grow and challenges you. This one human did just that and we have developed such a bond that will never leave my soul ever. It all started with a simple tank top that had so much more meaning on my side, that's the day I told myself, I am holding onto this soul and never letting go. It's amazing what a act of kindness and the thought on her end that started it all. Now, it all hasn't been rainbows and sunshines in our friendship but we always come out of it and here is where I learned the real meaning of "trust" and gaining it. Let me tell you it wasn't a easy road but I was determined to build it because it's a value that means everything, especially with someone who you value just as much. But I will say the rainbows are way more than the hardships. :) I also learned the feeling of being a part of a soul family, and as I had said before it's one of the greatest feelings of life.
I'm literally going back and forth on how to write the feelings part about human touch, love and compassion because I probably sound crazy but fuck it, this feeling is the best ever!! Judgement is the leading cause of shying away from who you really are and for showing what you are really feeling and expressing it! In my lifetime, a short 28 years I have never experienced this with anyone else but it's something I will forever find and cherish and continually develop with the people already in my life. It was only been a few times in since we met, and our vibes clicked so well it had me craving her presence and time together. I always looked forward to the next training session because I got to get to know someone who I knew who be such a big part of my life. Overtime we hung out outside of the gym, time was nonexistent, like time went by so slow yet 4 hours later and holy moly I officially became a night hawk. In the beginning till now, my heart still gets butterflies, it smiles and gets excited when we hang out, talk on the phone or text. It's such a bizarre amazing feeling because the love is so real in the friendship that I can feel it. & until I read this book I finally realized the affect of human touch and love have on myself, to know someone else cares, listens and is their for you no matter what. As well as being able to reach into someones soul and make an impact. It's truly a wonderful feeling. We all go through hardships and struggles, some worse than others and without going into detail this one has been through some rough shit but is one of the strongest people I have ever met. One of the best feelings that I hold dear to my heart comes back to trust and opening up, I just want to thank you for doing that on your own time, letting me get to know your soul deep within. I look back and I look at us now and I'm just so grateful for everything that we have experienced. Man, you have impacted me for the better. I honestly could write pages and pages about our connection, just know you will forever have a special place in my heart.
I will end with a few notes. Its crazy how the universe works because while writing this my spotify was on random music and a song came on that just explains our soul sista friendship called nights with you. 2nd of all I want to leave you all with another quote by Mitch Albom, "Learn how to die, and you learn how to live." It's the honest truth, we take so many things for granted, STOP. Embrace these sensitivities that we have with one another, share the love and attention with everyone and spread acts of kindness wherever you go!! 3rd I want you guys to all experience this kind of relationship with someone and so many more, because it makes living your life that much sweeter. Man, my heart is so full that I will forever shine it onto the world.
Don't forget to read the book called "Tuesday's with Morrie", have tissue too, if you are sappy pants like me and it hits you deep.
One love my friends - you will always be loved!
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